|Season 1, Episode 1|
|Air date||January 9, 2000|
|Written by||Linwood Boomer|
|Directed by||Todd Holland|
Pilot is the first episode of Malcolm in the Middle.
The episode starts with Malcolm explaining his life and about his other three brothers, then he says something about life... Lois wakes up the boys and the three of them fight for the waffles, while Lois is shaving Hal's hairy back. As the boys are walking to school, Malcolm and Dewey find the bully of the school, Dave Spath, hitting a kid. Malcolm and Dewey are able to pass by with him seeing them. We move to Malcolm's oom in school, the is painting pictures. When Malcolm takes his finished painting up to the teacher, she is very impressed with his work. While Malcolm is up with the teacher, the bully Dave puts red paint on Malcolm's chair. When Malcolm sits down there is an audible squish. At this moment there is a call over the intercom for Malcolm to go to the office. As we see Malcolm walking down the hall we can hear the laughter of the students. A counselor Caroline Miller wants to run a few tests on Malcolm, she holds up a picture that has some mistakes on it. She has a stopwatch in her hand and she only puts the picture up for a moment when Malcolm unleashes a tirade about how is life just sucks and how he doesn't care about ... (and begins naming all of the things that are wrong with the picture. Caroline is stunned and begins to get very excited. Malcolm arrives for his pre-arranged "play date" with Stevie. Malcolm tries to come up with things for them to do but Stevie's mom is just so overprotective that there is nothing for them to do. Finally Malcolm sees that Stevie owns a closet full of comics, which cements their friendship. Malcolm, Dewey, and Reese are now at home where Lois gets a call from Francis asking for money, as he is talking Lois can hear that Francis is smoking. She starts yelling as Francis just lets the phone dangle on the cord while we hear Lois continue to yell and lecture.
Later, as Lois in getting ready for work and trying to find her bra, there is a knock at the door and none of the boys (who are sitting on the couch watching T.V.) move to answer it. So Lois opens the door topless. Upon opening the door she finds Caroline Miller who tells her that Lois has not returned any of her calls and she is desperate to talk to her about Malcolm. Lois thinks that the counselor wants to put Malcolm in a special ed and lets her know that there is no way she was going to allow that counselor to do that. Caroline tells her that Lois is mistaken and if she could just come in she would explain everything. We move to the family at dinner, and Lois informs the family that Malcolm has an IQ of 165 and that he is going the gifted Malcolm says there is no way that he is going to the Krelboyne after talking with him Lois tells him that it is not a big deal and it will only be a big deal if he makes it one. Malcolm reluctantly accepts his fate in the At school, his teacher brags about him being highly gifted, and later finds himself with the other geniuses where he accidentally insults Stevie and then immediately regrets it. Malcolm decides to try and make it up to him, so he goes over to talk to him, but before he and Stevie can have a long conversation. Malcolm hears the Bully again, and this time he has had enough. He mouths off to Dave, Dave get up and starts to approach Malcolm, as he gets closer Malcolm balls up his fist and swings at Dave but misses. As Dave winds up HIS fist Malcolm ducks and as Dave is trying to stop the momentum of his fist he is unable and he ever so slightly taps Stevie. Stevie waits a beat and then turns his wheelchair sideways and starts bellowing about how much it hurt, he meets Malcolm's eye and smiles. The crowd that was surrounding them and even Dave's own gang starts getting on to him about hitting a handicapped boy. Nobody believes Dave when he says it was an accident. . Thanks to Stevie, Malcolm thinks that there are probably a lot worse things than being a Krelboyne.